Brad and Jen break up and I was not informed?
This is the worst part about living so far away. The news here is just tsunami, mudslide, Palestine, blah blah blah. It turns out the real story was happening in Hollywood, people. I can't believe no one told me until now. My website would have been all over this story.
posted by Eric at 3:19 AM
3 Comments:
What Brad should have said to Jen instead of breaking up with her:
"To make up for all the foolish things I said, tomorrow night, I will escort you to my crib, where I will prepare for you a romantic meal comprised of succulent lobster from the finest sea. We will both eat the lobster and enjoy a side dish of rice with it. There will also be a baked potato waiting for you, and some butter for you to place upon that potato. In addition, there will be sour cream, which you may also put on the potato if you so desire.
I will also serve juice.
Then, when we have each finished eating our meals, I will lay your body down on a bedsheet comprised of 100 percent silk, which I will purchase in advance from the finest store in this city. Then, just before we freak, I will inquire as to how you like the feel of the sheets. If you inform me that you do not like it, I will travel to other cities around the world until I locate a store that sells sheets that are more to your satisfaction. Then, I will purchase those sheets and return home to put them on the bed for you.
It is then that I will hit you doggy-style. This is how you will get Smooved."
My mother reads this; let's keep it this side of R-rated.
But that did crack me up.
In future, comments involving "doggy style" should be emailed to me privately, or at least phrased very... euphemistically...
Post a Comment
<< Home