More ethical gray zones

One of my jobs here is to edit the application essays for ambitious young Indian students who want to get into top business programs in the U.S. I cannot describe how awful most of these essays are, and not because of the language barrier. There must be a handbook or something circulating in India with instructions on how to write the most banal, formulaic essay possible: For example, every essay I've read so far ends with the sentence, "I sincerely believe a college career at UPENN would be something valuable, worth laboring for, and mutually beneficial." UPENN is in all caps not just because that's the style, but because I'm convinced that sentence was written by a computer program. You just type in the name of the school and an application essay pops out. It's India's version of Mad Libs.

These essays I edit are invariably delivered to me -- in a condition about two steps before "first draft" -- with a note that they are due to the university in 10 hours, so could I please drop everything and rewrite them this instant?

Well, I've resisted posting funny snippets of them until now. This time I couldn't hold back, mostly because I think I've entered a strange ethical border zone and I want to make fun of something, you know, just to get my bearings.

This last one was not an application essay, it was a letter of recommendation, written by a student about himself. Evidently it's common practice over here -- the recommender just wants to sign it, not write it -- and I'm told I shouldn't question it. OK, whatever, I've had my quota of fights with my bosses this month, and from what I've seen over here, I don't doubt that the practice is common. This region isn't exactly known for its embrace of professional ethics. So I edited the goddamn thing.

But I can't resist posting it either. Here's the part where the form asks the "recommender" about the applicant's faults:

• S---- understands the importance of his supervisors' feedback in his development and hence very enthusiastically listens to the advice of his superiors. He doesn't want to wait for the annual employee evaluation, rather he wishes to know exactly where he needs to improve so that he can work on those areas straightaway.
  
  
• S---- gives too much attention to other people's problems. I suppose he has carried over this habit from his college life. Sometimes he goes overboard with this and sacrifices his own precious time in helping someone out. I have very explicitly pointed out to him that he is expected to look after his own interests first and then help others. He has take note of this and has shown some change, however, I think his enthusiasm for getting involved with others problems will take some time to subside.
  
  
• S---- can get overly concerned about his work due to his emotional involvement with everything around him. He needs to understand that being emotional can sometimes get in the way of being a good professional. He should try to maintain a good balance between his work and other aspects of his life. His MBA studies will give him a good opportunity to achieve a more balanced outlook of life.

My only edit was to comment that he ought to find some more realistic faults about himself, or the application committee would just laugh its ass off. I phrased it better, though.