The wisdom of taxi drivers

Most taxi drivers here are quiet and efficient, though they tend to drive like maniacs. Once in a while they want to chat, and this is rarely a good thing.

A few weeks ago, I got into a raggedy-ass cab that had clearly driven down to Dubai from al-Sharjah, our northern neighbor whose role model (and sugar daddy) is Saudi Arabia. Sharjah is the Wahhabist emirate: no drinking, no loitering, and so help them God, absolutely no cavorting. And ladies, don’t get caught without a full-body abbaya! And don't ride in cars with men, obviously, unless you like jail.

Anyway, this cab was from there. Why did I get in it, you ask? It was hot and I couldn't find another cab. You're right, you're right, I shouldn't have.

So immediately, the cabbie – and I won't lie to you, he bore a remarkable resemblance to Osama bin Laden – immediately the cabbie starts to chat me up. It takes about twenty seconds for him to get to what he really wants to ask me: What religion are you?

This is not an issue I discuss around here. But I don't have to lie, either: I tell him that I'm religious but that it's a private matter. He persists. This is something I haven't encountered in Dubai, though it could be more common in al-Sharjah – evangelical Islam. It isn't pleasant. On and on he goes, Prophet Muhammed, the Qu'ran, and so forth.

Finally he gets to the part that really sticks in my memory. We're driving along, sailing around bends in the road at frightening speeds, nearing my office. His pushy religious lecture is making me more and more nervous. Then he quiets for a second, and says, "You, me, we die in one minute."

… … …

… oh, f-u-c-k.

So, that was not a pleasant moment for me. There were a few seconds of white knuckles and no breathing. But then he was chattering on in his broken English, and I realized what he meant. "Any of us, we could die at any moment," he was trying to say. "We must live life to the fullest… blah blah blah." That sort of thing. He was actually a very nice guy, the way even the most insufferable evangelical Christians usually are. But I was sweating when I got out of the cab.