Hagia Sophia
Picture it: Constantinople, 537 A.D. The hot new thang was a little religion called Christianity. Rome was out. The Byzantines were in. Constantinople was sizzlin', baby, and it was time to flaunt it, oh yeah!! It was time to build the greatest church in the world!!
Fast-forward a thousand years. Now the saucy young upstart on the scene – a sort of 50 Cent for the 15th century – was Islam. The Muslims were hot, baby, they were so money and they didn't even know it! They captured Constantinople and renamed it Istanbul, and it was nobody's business but the Turks', and the rest was musical history.
When they cruised on in to Istanbul, the first thing the Muslims did was convert the Greatest Church in the World into the Greatest Mosque in the World. And so it remained until the Turks made it into a museum in 1934.
Now, as you might expect, the Greatest Church/Mosque/Museum in the World is a bit of an architectural mishmash. It's also pretty run-down. Mark Twain called it "the rustiest old barn in heathendom," mocking all my attempts at colorful description with his total brilliance and proving one more time why he is considered the greatest American writer, and not I.*
So here are a couple views of Hagia Sophia that make it look like a mosque:
And here it looks like a church, complete with flying buttresses:
And here it looks like a battered old factory that will soon be converted into trendy lofts or an Urban Outfitters showroom:
And here is a picture of a tree:
I didn't really understand Mark Twain's "rusty barn" comment until I stepped inside the old barn. Birds swooped back and forth between the eaves. Dusky sunlight poured down in shafts through tiny, high-up windows. Horses nibbled lazily on hay piled behind the altar. Just kidding about that last one. But seriously, it's exactly like a rusty old barn, and though I haven't traveled through all of heathendom, I doubt you could find a rustier barn. Twain's comment is dazzlingly, annoyingly perfect! Damn you Mark Twain, you freaking genius!
With all the Arabic writing everywhere, it's easy to forget the thousand years Hagia Sophia spent as the Greatest Church in the World. But then you run across this:
And with all this religious imagery, it's easy to forget the seventy years Hagia Sophia has spent as the Greatest Museum in the World. But then you run across this – the most Touristy American Guy in the World:
You can't see it in the picture, but he was also wearing sandals and knee-high white socks.
* I'm not even well-read enough to have found this quote on my own. I read it in the Turkey guidebook. And honestly, I'm not even cultured enough to buy my own guidebooks. They must be donated and loaned to me. Thank you Kathleen, Andrew, Melissa and Tiffany!
Fast-forward a thousand years. Now the saucy young upstart on the scene – a sort of 50 Cent for the 15th century – was Islam. The Muslims were hot, baby, they were so money and they didn't even know it! They captured Constantinople and renamed it Istanbul, and it was nobody's business but the Turks', and the rest was musical history.
When they cruised on in to Istanbul, the first thing the Muslims did was convert the Greatest Church in the World into the Greatest Mosque in the World. And so it remained until the Turks made it into a museum in 1934.
Now, as you might expect, the Greatest Church/Mosque/Museum in the World is a bit of an architectural mishmash. It's also pretty run-down. Mark Twain called it "the rustiest old barn in heathendom," mocking all my attempts at colorful description with his total brilliance and proving one more time why he is considered the greatest American writer, and not I.*
So here are a couple views of Hagia Sophia that make it look like a mosque:
And here it looks like a church, complete with flying buttresses:
And here it looks like a battered old factory that will soon be converted into trendy lofts or an Urban Outfitters showroom:
And here is a picture of a tree:
I didn't really understand Mark Twain's "rusty barn" comment until I stepped inside the old barn. Birds swooped back and forth between the eaves. Dusky sunlight poured down in shafts through tiny, high-up windows. Horses nibbled lazily on hay piled behind the altar. Just kidding about that last one. But seriously, it's exactly like a rusty old barn, and though I haven't traveled through all of heathendom, I doubt you could find a rustier barn. Twain's comment is dazzlingly, annoyingly perfect! Damn you Mark Twain, you freaking genius!
With all the Arabic writing everywhere, it's easy to forget the thousand years Hagia Sophia spent as the Greatest Church in the World. But then you run across this:
And with all this religious imagery, it's easy to forget the seventy years Hagia Sophia has spent as the Greatest Museum in the World. But then you run across this – the most Touristy American Guy in the World:
You can't see it in the picture, but he was also wearing sandals and knee-high white socks.
* I'm not even well-read enough to have found this quote on my own. I read it in the Turkey guidebook. And honestly, I'm not even cultured enough to buy my own guidebooks. They must be donated and loaned to me. Thank you Kathleen, Andrew, Melissa and Tiffany!
posted by Eric at 5:06 AM
4 Comments:
You are hereby commended for your use of a Mark Twain quotation, even if you did merely crib it from some book.
We know him as the last person to willingly choose to live in Hartford.
Not only did Mark Twain willingly reside in Hartford, but he claimed it was the prettiest city in the world. Apparently he has a better understanding of rusty old barns than pretty cities!
Eric -
I hope you are doing well. I'm glad the book Melissa and I gave you is helping you!
Hope to talk to you soon!
Tiffany
To state that Hartford was the prettiest city in the world leads me to call into question his competency.
Although perhaps it was different back in the 1800s.
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