Salma and me

A very interesting dialogue has cropped up in the comments section of the posting “Jumeirah mosque.” I’m posting it here in full, along with my response.

Salma said...
Hi Eric,

This is Salma. If you remember, we met at the Jethro Tull concert.

It's about your earlier posts talking about Islam...

Get the difference right between "discussing", "disecting" and "disgracing" something.

You seem to be devoid of respect for the religions, cultures and people around you. Fools find it easier to mock a religion than to understand it. Broaden your perspective and get a real sense of humour, please! People like you are responsible for the rising hatered in this region towards Americans.

I hope you mend you acts or I would be forced to report about your blog to the authorities.
6:06 AM

Anonymous said...
I think Eric is doing something many others are afraid to -- go to the Middle East as a Jewish-American man from the midwest. He's learning about a different culture, living it, AND showing and telling those of us back home what he's seeing and feeling. Some of it is humorous, some of it is bittersweet, some of it is opinion. I diagree with some of his opinions, but I don't believe those opinions are out of disrespect. The great thing about America is you can express all that, no matter who you are. I know Eric has taught me a lot about Dubai and the surrounding area, so I thank him for sharing it with us all.

Salma, perhaps you can educate us all about what you found hurtful so that all of our perspectives can be broadened and we can understand the Middle East and Islam even more.
4:17 PM

Anonymous said...
You watch your ass, Salma.
10:20 PM

Salma said...
While exploring a new region one does come across several unexpected things which makes him react in various manners. But expressing them in such a manner with the use of explicit words is absolutely unacceptable and is regarded as disrespect and mocking a religion, no matter which part of the world it is.

Humor is acceptable as long as it doesn't cross it's limit and becomes lewd.

I appreciate your growing interest in the Middle East and Islam. Every religion has certain guidelines regarding various aspects of a human life, which have certain valid reasons behind them.


It does not have to do with me being a Muslim and protecting Islam. It is about being a human being and standing up for what's right, no matter what religion I belong to.

And about watching my ass... Well, may be people who sit on their brains should use it more often!
6:59 AM

Anonymous said...
Excuse you, Salma. People find all kinds of things funny, and I can't for the life of me figure out what is so damn offensive about this post.

Be you a Muslim or not, you obviously overreact over insigifnicant and quirky posts. I am an intolerant son of a bitch, but Eric sure as heck isn't. Feel free to flame me now for my obviously misogynistic post (due to my use of the word "bitch").
Rummell
8:49 AM

Eric said…
Hi Salma. Of course I remember you. You are a very memorable person!

I have several things I want to say in response to your comments. First of all, I don't appreciate being threatened. You are perfectly welcome to go to the authorities to complain about my website, if that's what you feel you must do.

But as long as you're in the mood to report offenses against Islam, you might as well report everything. Don't forget to mention how drunk you got that night at the Jethro Tull concert – and not for the first time, you said. You were so drunk you were walking into walls, and while I'm no Islamic scholar, I'm pretty sure that this behavior is frowned upon by the same authorities to whom you wish to report me.

I guess you don't have to say anything, come to think of it. They can just read about it here. I pride myself on telling the full story, as all regular readers of my website know.

Of course, that's a total lie, that part about "the whole story." The truth is that I've deliberately omitted some very important details from my stories so far.

The most important of these is that I'm Jewish.

Not only did I obscure this fact on my website, I even lied about it in person. I did this exactly one time. Usually when people asked me about my religion, I simply said it was a private matter, and that did the trick. But the night I met you, you just wouldn't let it go; you kept pressing me... Are you Catholic? Christian? Finally I gave in and I just lied to you; it seemed easier and safer than to keep dancing around the truth.

But I tell you, I've regretted that moment ever since then. It churns my stomach every time I think about it. It's one thing to keep quiet about being a Jewish guy living in the Middle East – that's what they mean when they say that discretion is the better part of valor. But it's something else entirely to deny your identity, to flat-out lie about it, especially when in my own father's lifetime, millions of us lost their lives for nothing more than owning that identity. The same identity I declined to own when talking to you. What gives me the right to deny it when I have so much less at stake? It almost makes me sick to think about it.

I did it because I sensed, even after knowing you for a few minutes, that you were just the kind of person who could threaten me this way, and I was nervous about you. In fact, after I stupidly gave Bhavna my website address that night, I realized how nervous I was that you might see it, and I took the whole thing down for almost a week. Regular readers might remember this – another lie.

Later I came to regret my distrust; come on, she's just a nice kid, I thought to myself. Now, ironically, you've made me feel just a little bit better about what I did. You are the kind of person I suspected at first. I don't think you're a bad person, Salma, just young. I wasn't any model of wisdom when I was 18, either. There's nothing wrong with you that some age and maturity won't cure, I think.

Or maybe not. Maybe even as an adult you will hate and fear Jewish people, like so many other adults in your region. Because the truth is that my fear of letting my religion be known was not simply paranoia; it was wise in a place so overwhelmingly hostile to my people. God only knows the trouble I might have faced had your "authorities" found out about me. Losing my job and getting deported might have been the lucky outcome.

And that brings us to Islam, I guess. Despite what you might think about my “Ali Sistani” postings, you need to know one thing very clearly: I respect Islam far more than Islam respects me. I respect the Muslim identity far more than Muslims respect my religious identity. I found the Muslims I encountered very admirable in many ways. I deeply admire the sincere piety I sensed from almost every Muslim I met. Islam is a humble religion. It’s genuine. The devotion of its adherents is plain to see, not just one day a week but every moment. A lot of religious people in my country talk a great game, then conspicuously fail to practice what they preach. In religious matters, many Americans live in the great gulf between word and act, and this, more than anything else, is what has turned off a lot of people I know from religion in general. Though there are, of course, Muslims who act this way, there seem to be genuinely fewer of them. When Muslims talk about God, they seem to sincerely mean what they say. Not just sometimes, not just a few of them, but almost all of them. That really, really impressed me.

Of course, you already know that I don’t think Islam is perfect, because you caught me making fun of it on my website. But you’re missing the point: I think nothing is perfect. I joke about everything. I wasn’t making fun of Islam because I disrespect it. I’m just a joker at heart.

Sincere religion is good for the spirit, but so is humor. I don’t think good things, like faith, are somehow above the lightheartedness that makes life great. I don’t have trouble laughing and believing in God at the same time.

We Jews are especially known for being jokers. If I hadn’t been afraid to get my ass hauled into the “authorities” for being a Jewish guy teaching in the Middle East, you would have seen plenty of mockery of Judaism on my website. Just so you don’t feel I’m singling out Islam, let’s throw a Jewish joke out there:

Moishe took his Passover lunch to eat outside in the park. He sat down on a bench and began eating. A little while later a blind Jewish man came and sat down next to him. Feeling neighborly, Moishe passed a sheet of matzo (a flat, bumpy cracker) to the blind man. The blind man handled the matzo for a few minutes, looked puzzled, and finally exclaimed, "Who wrote this shit?"

There are about ten thousand more where that came from. Three seconds on Google will find them. Most of them somehow insult Judaism, and remember – they’re all written by Jews.

Salma, you don’t have to like my jokes about Islam, but nobody is forcing you to read my website. Everything is grounds for humor here, and if you don’t like that, then too bad.

But that can work in your favor, too. You were at your best when you made that joke about people sitting on their brains. I loved that! So instead of threatening me with the “authorities,” why don’t you write a response to this, including a joke or two? I’ll publish it, even if the joke is at my expense. That’s called freedom of speech, and it’s how we do things in America.

Eric