Flacks* and their snacks
I love it when I can bust out with a rhyme in the title. Johnnie Cochran, that one was for you, man.
Anyway, I read in the washingtonpost.com this morning about Cookie Monster and his diet. I want you to know that I already wrote on this topic, but I'm saving it for publication next week. Elktown has never gotten scooped yet by the Washington Post, and we're damn well not going to start now.
But there were some other things in the Post article that I didn't know, which were pretty funny.
We learn that Ronald McDonald has come in for a promotion at McDonald's. He's accepted the position of "Chief Happiness Officer." I hope he got a good pay raise, because that sounds to me like a big increase in responsibilities. Here's what he had to say:
"'It's great to know you can have your cookies and eat fruit, too,' The Ronald said, via e-mail. 'It's cool to try different foods and fun to stay active and fit. The way I look at it, it's what I eat and what I do and I'm lovin' it. Let's do lunch!'"
Chester Cheetah also weighed in with his thoughts on good health:
"'Although it ain't easy being cheesy,' Chester says, also via an e-mail statement provided by his company, Frito Lay, 'it is easy to balance your diet. Keep up the good work Cookie Monster, we are proud of you.'"
You want to know something? I don't think those messages were written by Ronald and Chester at all. Call me cynical, but I suspect that some well-paid flack deep within the bowels of the McDonald's (and Frito Lay) corporation is really writing those messages. Imagine! A flack impersonating beloved children's figure Ronald McDonald! These flacks, have they no shame?
Or maybe these suspicions of mine are simply bubbling up because the thought of Ronald McDonald sitting down at a computer keyboard and plunking out emails with his grotesquely oversized clown fingers is too disturbing to even imagine.
* ELKTOWN does not condone the use of this derogatory term for public relations professionals. Any usage of the word "flack" is strictly coincidental.
Anyway, I read in the washingtonpost.com this morning about Cookie Monster and his diet. I want you to know that I already wrote on this topic, but I'm saving it for publication next week. Elktown has never gotten scooped yet by the Washington Post, and we're damn well not going to start now.
But there were some other things in the Post article that I didn't know, which were pretty funny.
We learn that Ronald McDonald has come in for a promotion at McDonald's. He's accepted the position of "Chief Happiness Officer." I hope he got a good pay raise, because that sounds to me like a big increase in responsibilities. Here's what he had to say:
"'It's great to know you can have your cookies and eat fruit, too,' The Ronald said, via e-mail. 'It's cool to try different foods and fun to stay active and fit. The way I look at it, it's what I eat and what I do and I'm lovin' it. Let's do lunch!'"
Chester Cheetah also weighed in with his thoughts on good health:
"'Although it ain't easy being cheesy,' Chester says, also via an e-mail statement provided by his company, Frito Lay, 'it is easy to balance your diet. Keep up the good work Cookie Monster, we are proud of you.'"
You want to know something? I don't think those messages were written by Ronald and Chester at all. Call me cynical, but I suspect that some well-paid flack deep within the bowels of the McDonald's (and Frito Lay) corporation is really writing those messages. Imagine! A flack impersonating beloved children's figure Ronald McDonald! These flacks, have they no shame?
Or maybe these suspicions of mine are simply bubbling up because the thought of Ronald McDonald sitting down at a computer keyboard and plunking out emails with his grotesquely oversized clown fingers is too disturbing to even imagine.
* ELKTOWN does not condone the use of this derogatory term for public relations professionals. Any usage of the word "flack" is strictly coincidental.
posted by Eric at 5:37 AM
2 Comments:
PR people make the world go round. They're Grrreeeeat!
Yours truly,
Tony the Tiger.
I have serious doubts as to whether Tony the Tiger himself really wrote this comment. In fact, I suspect it's another flack trying to fool the world. I wish there was a word for this sort of behavior... evil? That's not quite right... devious? That's not it, either...
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