This time they've gone too far
The latest casualty in America's war against fat people:
Cookie Monster.
Cookie has fallen victim to our paranoia about obese children. Now he will be some sort of "fruit and vegetable monster." He will no longer sing, "C is for Cookie – it's good enough for me," but instead will sing "A cookie is a sometimes food." Oh, those bastards.
And the worst part is Senator Doctor Bill Frist, one of the great assholes of modern times. Just as he thought Terri Schiavo's sad life was somehow his business, he now feels it's his job to intervene on Sesame Street. Here's what he said: "Even Cookie Monster is learning to control his cravings. His sage advice opened our eyes to the simple joys of a tasty cookie, and now reminds us that moderation is the key to healthy living."
How's this for moderation, Doc: I hold you directly responsible for the death of Cookie Monster! You (expletive linked to)!!!!
Also, does anyone else find it disturbing that the banana that Cookie will presumably eat has a face?
Cookie Monster.
Cookie has fallen victim to our paranoia about obese children. Now he will be some sort of "fruit and vegetable monster." He will no longer sing, "C is for Cookie – it's good enough for me," but instead will sing "A cookie is a sometimes food." Oh, those bastards.
And the worst part is Senator Doctor Bill Frist, one of the great assholes of modern times. Just as he thought Terri Schiavo's sad life was somehow his business, he now feels it's his job to intervene on Sesame Street. Here's what he said: "Even Cookie Monster is learning to control his cravings. His sage advice opened our eyes to the simple joys of a tasty cookie, and now reminds us that moderation is the key to healthy living."
How's this for moderation, Doc: I hold you directly responsible for the death of Cookie Monster! You (expletive linked to)!!!!
Also, does anyone else find it disturbing that the banana that Cookie will presumably eat has a face?
posted by Eric at 4:23 AM
3 Comments:
As you can see, I was a bit upset when I wrote this. I've calmed down a little now, thanks to the calming words of Ronald McDonald and Chester Cheetah.
This is the biggest change to Sesame Street since 1981, when Big Bird quit smoking Pall Mall's.
The good doctor senator bill frist may be vying for the next republican presidential nomination against the good bible reading senator Sam Brownback. Politics just keeps getting more and more exciting.
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