elktown: 2005-03-06

Tapestry show

A tapestry show rolled through town for one day. Nobody was there but me and some French tapestry weavers, though I heard a bunch of the ruling sheikhs were there earlier in the day. These tapestries were absolutely gorgeous. Sadly, my camera ran out of batteries and I only took four pictures.

This one is my second-favorite, and the best one I got a photo of. I met the artist, a refined French gentleman. This one is clickable for a bigger view.

I didn't get a photo of the best one. It was the size of a small movie screen, a depiction of rearing Arabian horses in gold, white and silver. When you looked closely, every image was composed of ornate Arabic script from the Koran. It was unbelievably beautiful. And only $500,000.

You know you're in the American school

Walking into the American School of Dubai (ASD) is disorienting. It was 16 hours of travel to get to this country, and you take just a few steps and you're back in the USA.

There's just something very American about the design of ASD. The giant track and soccer fields out front, with freshly cut grass – a rarity in this sand city. The poster-bedecked classrooms. The shininess. It's all very comforting, if a little strange too.

But the American-ness of the place runs deeper, right through the personalities of the students. My students at ASD are not all Americans by birth – in fact, most aren't – but they are so American in their attitudes. They're more world-weary, a little less deferential (they don’t call me "sir," like all my other students). They're very good students, and I like them. But it's there – in the way they dress, the way they talk, the way they sit. You can feel a different culture at work in the seams of the class.

Here's my favorite example. I teach a math problem about a girl named Clare, who is six years younger than her brother Adam. How old will Adam be in three years? C-3? C+6?

Our strategy is to make up an age for Clare. "How old should we make Clare?" I ask. Kids almost always say "10," and the ASD class was no different. So we worked through the problem. Adam will be 19 in three years, or C+9. No problem.

I've got a kid in that class named Ray, pitcher for the ASD Indians baseball team (whose logo is a direct and charming rip-off of the Cleveland Indians). As we finish the Clare problem and start to move on, Ray mutters, under his breath but loud enough for everyone to hear, "We should have made Clare 18."

You'd sooner see pigs soaring gracefully through the blue sky than you'd hear such a comment in a class of Middle Eastern kids. I was, quite honestly, shocked. I seem to have become a delicate rose of sensitivity in my ten weeks here. I'll need emergency coarsening when I return. Save me a seat at the poker table.

ELKTOWN: Our Mission

My dad was right on target when he said elktown needs a Mission Statement. So, with material suggested by several readers -- though primarily, I suspect, Scott -- here is our new Mission Statement:

"The goal of ELKTOWN is to provide you with a complete, accurate and comprehensive portrayal of daily life in Dubai, and throughout the United Arab Emirates and greater Middle East. If, at any time, you are not satisfied with the materials contained herein, then you should have bought your own ticket to Dubai instead of eating all of those unsatisfying meals at the Burger King."

The Mission Statement is totally revisable, so feel free to suggest additions! Also, we somehow need to work in the tag line: "For all your cowbell needs. ELKTOWN: Now with 35% more cowbell." Flacks, budding lawyers, and budget analysts, I need your expertise. Any suggestions?

America where are you?

An alert elktown reader asked a very good question: Where was the American pavilion?

Well, reader, the U.S. couldn't be bothered to set up a little booth. I don't know whether it was on orders from GWB himself, or whether we're just naturally assholes about this sort of thing, but I think we decided we were not obligated to show up just because every other country in the world found the time.

I mean, come on, even Canada was representing, and frankly that makes us look like shit. Even little Nepal set up shop, though their thing burned down.

On the other hand -- in fairness to my home country -- half the city is already the American pavilion. If every McDonald's, Starbucks, Subway, Burger King, Pizza Hut, Kenny Rogers' Roasters, KFC, Dunkin' Donuts, Baskin Robbins and Cinnabon count as American participation, then we're participating the f@$k out of this thing.

Mission Statement: ELKTOWN

This website needs a mission statement. Anybody got any suggestions? Comment below.

All the pretty horses

In honor of Jen M. taking the bar exam, let's have a horse show.

There are full-size versions of these Arabian steeds spread around the city, in the manner of the Kansas City cows a few years ago, or the DC elephants and donkeys. I'll try to get some photos of these too. Which one is your favorite, Jen? I like the second one, in the blue and green.

More technical difficulties

The web host where I stashed all elktown's photos (following the censorship kerfuffle a couple months ago) seems to be in slow-motion meltdown. It's run by a guy named "Vlad" -- and let's be honest, that's a red flag -- and Vlad seems to be losing control of his servers. Possibly they are going haywire a la HAL 9000.

In any case, the pictures are blinking out all over elktown. I'm transferring them over to a new host, but it takes a little time.

So if you see blank photos in the archives, bear with me. Customer service is our #1 priority here at elktown.

I go to Iraq

I am welcomed by this man:

And this woman.

The entrance to Iraq:

And right next door… Russia!

This is Dubai's Global Village, a sort of Disney-World-Pavilion-Meets-QVC. Every country puts up its own little station, where it sells its local foods, crafts, and in the case of Japan, little statues of the Eiffel Tower. For example, in the Russia building you find precious tchotchkes like:

and

It's the ultimate in the "under one roof" retail concept:

Dolls and ceremonial knives. Bring the whole family!

Other countries included:

Kenya!

Japan!

Germany!

Somewhat disturbingly, Germany, Japan and Italy were all clustered together at the entrance to the park. I half expected the France and Poland pavilions to be smoking rubble.