Friday, April 08, 2005

Doo-hoo

I made a one-day visit to Doha, Qatar about a month ago. Our nickname for Doha is "Doo-hoo," and the word has now come to mean the hinterlands, anything far away, remote or small-time. Did you park your car in the sandlot five blocks away? You're out in doo-hoo. Have to take a business trip to Omaha, or Shreveport, or Gary, Indiana? Doo-hoo.

The original Doo-hoo was not half-bad for a day trip – definitely much better than Gary, Indiana. I ate the best Arabic food of my life, that's one thing. And the architecture there is fundamentally different from what I've seen in Dubai. All in all, it was a day well spent. I'll post a couple pictures next week.

In the meantime, this is a view of a minaret from the sandlot behind my apartment.

Wednesday, April 06, 2005

...from the Et Cetera Files

Random photos, both strange and beautiful. Well… mostly strange.


These are the Thai women who work at the Thai food counter at the mall. Sometimes I want Thai food, and when I do they make a big fuss over me. "Teacher, teacher!" they shout, placing their hands together, as if in prayer, and bowing furiously.

Other times I don't want Thai food, but to get the food I do want, I have to walk by the Thai women. Those days are more problematic. "Teacher, teacher!" they shout. "Teacher!! Why no Thai food today? Cashew chicken, five minutes! Teacher, where are you going?"

You may have noticed that they are posing with a baby in the photo above. A customer was pondering the menu and rooting through her purse, and she actually gave her baby to the Thai women to hold. Let me repeat that, because it is fairly astonishing: She gave her child to the restaurant workers to pass around. For, like, ten minutes. Mom, is motherhood really that much of a grind?

I have to admit: The Thai women and the baby seemed to get along very well. The kid was probably used to being handed to strangers, and the Thai women are naturally very social. There's absolutely no evidence that the child ended up as part of a curry dish.

Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Dammit America! (a rant*)

I went to the Gulf Education and Training Exhibition this morning. It's an enormous regional conference featuring schools and educational programs from all over the world. You wander through the pavilions, marveling: "Look, there are the French schools! Oh my, there sure are a lot of Canadian schools! My goodness, how will we ever find time to visit all the British schools?" And I didn't even go in the Asia and Middle East areas, which were huge.

But then your reverie fades, and you say, "Where are the American schools? I see Grambling State University, of Louisiana. A fine school. And there's Southeast Missouri State University, of Cape Girardeau. Good of them to show up. But where, in heaven's name, are the rest of the American schools?"

I absolutely hate that we don't seem to be even trying to compete for the world's talent. You could make the argument that if we're already the prime destination for the world's best students, we don't need to spend too much effort recruiting. But that's bullshit, for two reasons. First of all, I think I continue to see McDonald's advertising, even though we can be reasonably sure everyone knows about this hamburger establishment. Second, we're wrong to think that we're still the world's unquestioned first stop for education. Our population of foreign students has plummeted since 9/11, while the student populations of Canada, the UK, Europe, Australia and China are soaring.

This is how you lose the War on Terror in the long run.

Students who come to the U.S. fall in love with it; how could they not? Students who want to come here but find the door slammed in their faces harbor lifelong resentments. These are the kids who will grow up to become the ruling classes of their own countries. This is how reputations are won and lost in the world.

America's reputation in the world has certainly changed since 9/11. But from what I see here, it isn't primarily because of the war in Iraq. It's because we're snubbing this region. They want to love us and live in our country, but we give many of them the finger when they try.

I hear students talking about their desire to study in America, often followed by their regret that it no longer seems possible. I see students heading for Germany and Australia instead. These kids -- future opinion makers in the Middle East -- want to join our team. We should want them to. I'm pissed off for the same reason I was pissed off that we were the only country without a pavilion at Dubai's Global Village. It sends a message loud and clear: We don't give a shit about you. These are the messages that speak louder than anything President Bush can say about how much we love freedom. I think Bush was right to want to bring democracy to Iraq and the rest of this area. Much as I don't care for him personally, I admire his instincts on this and he may one day be seen as visionary.

But from my little perch here in the liberal part of the Middle East, we're not making the right moves. Our country comes off as huge, attractive and uncaring. Sometimes even a little hostile. Anybody who's ever been snubbed by an attractive but arrogant person -- whether a member of the opposite sex or not -- knows how infuriating it can be, how belittling.

Almost every influential person you hear about in the Gulf region either lived in the U.S. as a student, or studied at the American School of Beirut. Back then, we welcomed them, and that's why we have friends in the Gulf today. We're not going to have these friends tomorrow, I think. Couldn't we make a showing here at these conferences? Would it be so much trouble? If a tiny little Missouri bootheel school can make it, we don't have any excuses. Goddammit, it just bothers me.

* Tomorrow: Back to silly jokes and pictures.

Monday, April 04, 2005

Haircut II: The Scalpbuster

Haircut II went much smoother than the original. I'm happy with the result, and nobody had to unbutton my shirt to get there.

Kathleen, you'll be happy to know that the dog-petter scalp massage of Haircut I was taken to a whole new level in the sequel. This time, the guy practically attacked my scalp, like he was pissed off at my scalp for some offense and was determined to make it pay.

It was like the drive-through carwash. First they rinse off your car, then they spray it gently with cleaning products. Then, without warning, the rotating brushes of fury descend, beating and smacking against your car so that you can feel the thudding in your feet. It's violent and frightening. This scalp massage was like that. It was awesome.

The guy's hand was like an out-of-control ceiling fan falling on your head. It was everywhere all at the same time. It felt almost kung-fu. I think this guy could have kicked even Jackie Chan's ass, if the contest were barbering.

Then the guy worked on my neck with a vibrating neck-massage thingy. Everything got blurry as my eyeballs bounced and churned in their sockets. It was the best haircut ever.

Five bucks. My horse race winnings covered it!!!