Still more Q&A with Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani

See more Q & A with Grand Ayatollah Ali Sistani here, here, and here. And the special "Sex Ed with the Ayatollah" edition is here.

Question: Are shaking of hands with girls allowed?
Answer: It is not permissible.

Question: I wanted to know about friendship norms in islam about females ?
Answer: Friendship with her is not permissible. Because in such friendship man is not immune from sin.
Eric: This is essentially what Billy Crystal said in "When Harry Met Sally."

Eric: Here's one for you ladies:

Question: Which part of strange man’s body is it allowed for a woman to look at? Is it allowed to look at his breast? On the tv in the western countries its very oft, that the men show their bodies till the belly ?
Answer: Looking of a woman at a stranger’s (ajnabi) body is forbidden, if it is with lust and fear of falling in sin. It is not even permissible to look without.
Eric: If I may translate, Grand Ayatollah: Don't look if it will make you horny. And don't look anyway.

Question: Is it allowed to kiss a child?
Answer: Itself has no problem.

Question: Can I buy a second hand American car?
Answer: No prohibition order has been issued by His Eminence.
Eric: The Ayatollah himself drives an Audi, however.

Question: Please specify if any music is allowed in Islam?
Answer: Music is an art that has spread far and wide during these days. Some varieties of this art are permissible while others are forbidden; therefore, it is permissible to listen to the first while it is forbidden to listen to the latter.
Eric: And that clears that right up.

Villas of Jumeirah

Remember Jumeirah Jane? She got her name because she lives in… wait for it… Jumeirah.

Jumeirah is a beautiful beachfront land of villas, villas, and more villas. These villas are handed out free to Emirati citizens, along with a lifetime supply of free medical care, education, gas, electricity – basically whatever you, as an Emirati, need, your country's oil reserves are paying for it. It's not a bad deal, especially if you're a man and thus do not spend your life cloaked behind a giant black burqa, peering through a little eye-slot.

Many of the villas in Jumeirah, though owned by locals, are rented out to Westerners. You can tell where the expats live because the villas have gardens, with temperate-climate trees, and lots of bouganvillia plants. The locals, on the other hand, plant palm trees. Evidently the Prophet Mohammed said that a man with a palm tree will never go hungry, and 13 centuries later, people are still taking the advice.

A western-style villa:


And the Arab style:

Deep Throat

By now you've surely heard that Deep Throat has finally been unmasked. But you haven't heard the whole story. Not by a long shot.



There's Deep Throat, courtesy of the Washington Post. But what the liberal media haven't told you is that my dad dated Deep Throat Junior -- let's call her "Lady Deep Throat" -- while in high school.

That's right -- Deep Throat's daughter, seen in the picture above, was courted by my very own father. My father met Deep Throat, and though he surely suspected something, he managed to remain quiet all these years. It is also worth noting that Lady Deep Throat never married -- or as my father put it, "After me, no other man could fit the bill."

Everyone's hoo-hawing about The Washington Post and its famous Watergate reporting. Well, whoop-dee-doo. The Lady Deep Throat/Randy K. angle has been totally ignored by the Post and the rest of Big Media. This nexus of scandal and intrigue goes unmentioned in the so-called "mainstream media." To get the real story, you must come to elktown.

More ...from the Etc. files

Flowers growing in a sand bank near my apartment.


Public landscaping.


The many uses of the American flag.


I love this photo.


The Hyatt dwarfs a nearby mosque. Viewed from above, the Hyatt spells out "Dubai" in Arabic.


Snowblowers in a mall parking lot. Only God knows why.


The wharf on Friday – the Muslim holiday. None of this stuff is locked or guarded, but nothing gets stolen.


Rearing horses sculpture.

Abu Dhabi

Remember those old Garfield cartoons? Nermal, the intolerably cute kitten, would visit the Garfield residence, full of sunshine and adorable good cheer. World-weary Garfield would invariably threaten to mail the little cutie off to the remotest possible destination… the end of the world… the place symbolizing the most isolated, secluded, primitive locale on earth… Abu Dhabi. Oh, it never stopped being funny, did it?!

Imagine my surprise when I actually visited Abu Dhabi a few months ago, and found it to be… a little different than I expected. The truth is: This is a place where a cat could really get down.

Nermal, while in Abu Dhabi, you will…


Stay at the fabulous Royal Meridian hotel!!


Dash along the traffic-choked streets of downtown!


Dine at a dazzling array of American fast food joints!!


Have all your optical needs met, and drive this fabulous Jaguar!!


See a blockbuster Hollywood film!!


Frolic at Snow World!!

Nermal, you look a little tired after your incredible stay in Abu Dhabi. Just don't forget to pray. Don't worry... by law, there's a mosque every 400 feet!