More ethical gray zones

One of my jobs here is to edit the application essays for ambitious young Indian students who want to get into top business programs in the U.S. I cannot describe how awful most of these essays are, and not because of the language barrier. There must be a handbook or something circulating in India with instructions on how to write the most banal, formulaic essay possible: For example, every essay I've read so far ends with the sentence, "I sincerely believe a college career at UPENN would be something valuable, worth laboring for, and mutually beneficial." UPENN is in all caps not just because that's the style, but because I'm convinced that sentence was written by a computer program. You just type in the name of the school and an application essay pops out. It's India's version of Mad Libs.

These essays I edit are invariably delivered to me -- in a condition about two steps before "first draft" -- with a note that they are due to the university in 10 hours, so could I please drop everything and rewrite them this instant?

Well, I've resisted posting funny snippets of them until now. This time I couldn't hold back, mostly because I think I've entered a strange ethical border zone and I want to make fun of something, you know, just to get my bearings.

This last one was not an application essay, it was a letter of recommendation, written by a student about himself. Evidently it's common practice over here -- the recommender just wants to sign it, not write it -- and I'm told I shouldn't question it. OK, whatever, I've had my quota of fights with my bosses this month, and from what I've seen over here, I don't doubt that the practice is common. This region isn't exactly known for its embrace of professional ethics. So I edited the goddamn thing.

But I can't resist posting it either. Here's the part where the form asks the "recommender" about the applicant's faults:

• S---- understands the importance of his supervisors' feedback in his development and hence very enthusiastically listens to the advice of his superiors. He doesn't want to wait for the annual employee evaluation, rather he wishes to know exactly where he needs to improve so that he can work on those areas straightaway.
  
  
• S---- gives too much attention to other people's problems. I suppose he has carried over this habit from his college life. Sometimes he goes overboard with this and sacrifices his own precious time in helping someone out. I have very explicitly pointed out to him that he is expected to look after his own interests first and then help others. He has take note of this and has shown some change, however, I think his enthusiasm for getting involved with others problems will take some time to subside.
  
  
• S---- can get overly concerned about his work due to his emotional involvement with everything around him. He needs to understand that being emotional can sometimes get in the way of being a good professional. He should try to maintain a good balance between his work and other aspects of his life. His MBA studies will give him a good opportunity to achieve a more balanced outlook of life.

My only edit was to comment that he ought to find some more realistic faults about himself, or the application committee would just laugh its ass off. I phrased it better, though.

The Wonderful Journalism Ethics of the Middle East, Part I

So, Prince Harry got photographed wearing a Nazi costume at a party, right? It was splashed all over the British tabloids. Our delightful local rag in Dubai, 7Days, printed a photo for their front page showing a smiling Harry holding a copy of the tabloid with his Nazi picture on it. Only problem was -- it was the fakest looking thing you've ever seen.

Unfortunately, the online version only had the top of the picture, so I can't show you the whole thing, but imagine the bottom: Harry, holding in one hand, a ridiculously doctored image of the tabloid front, a perfect rectangle in two flat dimensions, with none of the folding, flapping or wrinkling you'd expect of an actual newspaper when you hold it in your hand. It looked like a doctoring job my cat could have done by walking across the computer keyboard.

The most hilarious part is that they were proud of themselves! This was the caption: "SNAPPED: Harry and the newspaper front page - courtesy of 7DAYS digital wizardry"

I actually love the precedent. Coming soon to this site: "Mark McClellan MD, Ph.D. puts on a ladies' wig and high heels and dances atop CMS headquarters in Baltimore - courtesy of elktown digital wizardry..."

Next time on The Wonderful Journalism Ethics of the Middle East: I meet the world's biggest stooge reporter... Stay tuned...

An unpleasant story

It's probably jarring to read stupid jokes from me in one post, then in the next to read a comment I wrote seriously. But I'm not sure how to avoid it in this format.

My favorite student is a young Lebanese guy named Elie, age 19. He's a little older than the high school juniors I usually teach, and he's correspondingly more mature. He's desperate to go to school at the University of Wollongong -- that's in Dubai -- and they told him he needs a 1000 on the SAT to get in.

He wants that score so bad. It's going to be very difficult for him, because English is his third language, and though he speaks perfectly clearly, his vocabulary is very limited. 1000 is the average score for American students, native English speakers, so Elie is a long shot. He's shooting in the 600 range right now. But I've never wanted a student to succeed more than I want this kid to succeed.

We get along great -- there is a culture of teacher respect here, so when a kid likes you and thinks you're a good teacher, he or she can get very attached. When I was making plans to leave here last week, before things got worked out, I told Elie that I wouldn't continue to be his teacher, and he went into a real funk, though he tried not to show it. He was overjoyed when I stayed.

So I was teaching his class last night. We SAT teachers often dog on ETS, the company that produces the SAT. We make them the enemy that kids want to beat when their scores improve. As class was winding up last night, Elie was really frustrated with a certain problem, and as he was walking out, he joked, "I hate ETS! Why do they make it so hard? I hate them!" I laughed; he was smiling.

Then he said, "I'd like to send a terrorist from Iraq to blow them up!" My gut twisted and I felt sick. He saw the look on my face, which probably changed from laughing to disgust almost comically quickly, and he looked stricken. I told him that wasn't at all funny and that he should go home. I was very sharp, I think. He looked at me with such puppy-dog eyes that I immediately felt terrible -- but it didn't replace the awful feeling his comment provoked. All together it just made me feel exhausted.

He's such a good kid, and he didn't mean anything by it. But I was really surprised by how much that comment upset me. I don't like to think that I'm so easily provoked, especially by people I like. I didn't know my 9/11 sensitivity is still so sharp. I think I'm more defensive about those issues over here than I want to admit.

Brad and Jen break up and I was not informed?

This is the worst part about living so far away. The news here is just tsunami, mudslide, Palestine, blah blah blah. It turns out the real story was happening in Hollywood, people. I can't believe no one told me until now. My website would have been all over this story.

Arab Car Talk

On the way to work this morning, the cabbie had an Arabic radio station blasting full volume. It was two guys talking, and of course I didn't understand a word -- but I swear it was Car Talk. They had the exact same tones, the same smokers' voices, the same habit of laughing at all their own jokes.

Of course, for all I know they were talking about Death to America.

My neighborhood

I want to do a lot more photography of my neighborhood, but here's a start. The area is called Karama, and it's the Indian part of town. The glitz of downtown Dubai isn't found here, and I'm glad. Instead, the neighborhood has personality -- kids playing cricket in the alleys, laundry hanging from windows. In the morning I hear the daily call to prayer through my window -- more on that later. I live above a giant Indian grocery, and when I come out into the street in the morning, I pass by the bakery side of the shop. Oh man, that smells so good.

Here are some pictures I took at twilight. Twilight makes anybody a good photographer.

A nearby mosque.

Kids playing soccer in a sandy lot. The goalposts are giant spools of cable.

Sheikh Zayed road is one of the main streets in Dubai. It runs all the way through downtown, seen in the distance.

Another shot of downtown Dubai. The building in front is the Trade Center, the first building to rise from the empty stretches of sand a few decades ago. The two buildings behind the Trade Center are the Emirates Towers. I'll take more detailed photos of these buildings soon.

Censorship isn't just a Middle East thing

Parents in my high school district are organizing in their outrage that their students are asked to read pornagraphic books like "Black Boy" and "Slaughterhouse Five."

Check out their website: www.classkc.org. This link is especially interesting.

If you're bored at work and feel like writing a defense of good literature and free speech, I would be thrilled to see your comments on their page -- if they have the guts to post them. Here's the comments page: http://www.classkc.org/contact.php. Obviously, you don't have to leave your real address.

Let me know if you write in.

More on the movies

As long as we're talking about movies, here are some more photos. There are plenty of American movie theaters in Dubai, and from what I've seen, they're very popular with the locals:

But we also seem to mostly get the dregs and the blockbusters from America: National Treasure, Saw, Alfie, etc. On the other hand, in the 45 minutes before Alfie actually started the other night, I saw a preview for my favorite movie in years: Harold and Kumar Go To White Castle. I laughed louder than the entire theater combined just at the preview.

There are lots of Indian movies too -- there's an Indian movie house right next to my office building. Here's the marquee:

That movie is Ab Tumhare Hawale Watan Sathiyo. My friend Shantanu translates it roughly as: "I'm leaving you the nation, comrades."

In case we miss that one, the next movie opening is:

Take a closer look at the tagline. This one looks awesome.